OUCH.

In recent months, here’s a sample of what I’ve heard from my coaching clients. These anecdotes are disguised to protect confidentiality:

-A manager at a large company was told by their boss to fire 8% of their high-functioning team for “efficiency’s sake.” Although they tried to fight it, the anguished manager was forced to carry the directive through, or lose their job. Afterward, the company falsely characterized those fired as “low performers.” The manager is sick with guilt, the surviving team is demoralized, and those fired are attempting to find jobs after being publicly and falsely branded “low performers.”

-A global company removed its social media policy against hate speech, leaving its female and LGBTQ+ employees enraged and vulnerable—and in some cases responsible for explaining and defending the policy change to internal and external stakeholders.

***

Moral injury: a profound sense of broken trust in ourselves, our leaders, governments and institutions to act in just and morally “good” ways. It is the experience of “sustained and enduring negative moral emotions – guilt, shame, contempt and anger – that results from the betrayal, violation or suppression of deeply held or shared moral values.”

***

The anecdotes I’ve shared above inflicted moral injuries on my clients, and also, by extension, on me. When any of us perpetrates, witnesses, or cannot prevent acts that deeply affront our moral code, moral injury occurs.

It seems to me that on any given day there are so many transgressions to our morals that we are left staggering under the putrid ooze of it all. This is draining—revolting!—and VERY heavy to carry.

Addressing moral injury is not my area of expertise (although I am all too rapidly accruing familiarity with this topic.) Still, I can share a few things that have helped my clients and me to deal with moral injury when it is inflicted.

-Name it. Several clients have judged themselves for “not getting over it” when moral injury occurs. They blame themselves for not being strong or resilient enough to accept what has happened and “move on already.” It is not a sign of thin skin to grapple with a moral injury–it is a sign that you need to pay attention to something heinous that has happened near or to you.

-Have some compassion for yourself. A moral injury is deep. It hurts. If it happened to a loved one, you would probably not insist they immediately get over themselves and move on. Likewise, show yourself some mercy. Give yourself grace as you metabolize what has hurt you, and what it means.

-Seek support. Find people you trust (friends, family, mental health or coaching professionals) to confide in. Let people listen, validate you, and offer perspectives that might be of help.

-Recommit to your values. Suffering a moral injury can shake you to your core. It’s useful to consider exactly which values were violated, and to reaffirm your commitment to them. And then…

-Take meaningful action. Is there something you can say or do to address or offset this injury? Are there amends you need to make to others? Do you need to forgive yourself? Are there proactive behaviors, volunteer activities, or creative projects that might make a positive contribution and help you reassert your most deeply held values?

Moral injuries pack a wallop, and it seems they are coming fast and furious these days. Learning to recognize and name them are your first steps for healing. Then, go deeper. Take your time. Be thoughtful. Clarify and recommit to your deepest values. Then take whatever actions are within your control to take and as purely as you can, live your values.

***

Recent events have left many of us traumatized, and the months ahead may well be perilous. If you are trying to function professionally while navigating these treacherous times, you may benefit from coaching. If you would like executive coaching, team coaching or leadership training that is trauma-informed and focuses on self-regulation of the nervous system, please contact me at danamgallagher@gmail.com.